This is my last update on the english blog. xD I Finally reached 4000 words!! yaay! Starting from tomorrow I'll upload just the Spanish blog www.pocketpieces.blogspot.com finally!)
Since my English is that bad I can't keep on writting here. Please accept my apologies.
My mom's calling me to have some pineapple cake, so today's update is going to be short.
I feel so ashamed writting over here.. my English skills just suck. u.u
Thanks to everyone for comforting me after my last stupid entrace. I was right at least: I just regret about what I've written. I'm very sorry. I still haven't become a robot, so I can't control my feelings.
Many people around me are great. I can't get carried away by nightmares. Non-sense nightmares, to be exactly.
Nowadays I'm different from how I was a few months ago. Maybe I'm not as great as I'd like to be but I'm fine just the way I am.
Well, solitude is a relative term. Friends can be everywhere you want. Don't you think so? I mean,if you want to make new friends you can do it, It's pretty easy, specially in the college. It's all about being nice to everyone. (If you're someone cute , then you have more possibilities on liking other people, but that's not my case at all xD).
I've always wanted to have two kind of specific friends, but I still couldn't find them:
The first friend type .. well, I just call him "The stylist gay friend". As the name says, he must be a good looking gay boy. If it's possible, a stylist. I watched many movies where such a specific character appears, I liked him, and I wanted such a friend for me. Just because of being a boy, he'd probabily have a different point of view than me about many things. I have the feeling that I can learn lots of stuff thanks to him. Furthermore, having such a friend will make me feel more comfortable next to him. I won't need to care about If I'm cute today or not. He's gay. He won't judge me as a woman and that is THE BEST of all this! =D I can be absolutely natural! In addition to this, I have the feeling that we can become very close friends. We could be just.. like brothers *-* I've always wanted such a friend ^.^ Moreover, if he's stylist he can help me to improve my image. (>//<) I think that having this kind of friend can make me feel more confident. It would be great. ... I'd have free yaoi fanservice whenever I wanted to *-* .... And we would share lots of things toghether. since I'm not a big beauty I think that a bi or even an hetero friend who could never look at me as a woman, and who has a good taste at clothes and make up, would suit this role. ^^
The second friend type is "the Korean or Chinese friend". If prefer this type to be a girl. The reason is simple: In my opinion, Asian girls are the most beautiful girls in the world. They're very small and thin, and super-duper cute. they have very beautiful hands and nails and.. *-* They're very good looking (as you can see, they're the opposite than me). I'd like to learn how to look like them and ask them a pair of beauty tips. But the most important reason is that both cultures attract me a lot and having a friend from China or Korea would be awsome. Maybe I could travel to those countries with my friend. And I'd be able to know much more things about those cultures. It'd be truly absolutely GREAT. I'd feel very happy ^-^
Will I find this kind of people someday? I'm not saying that I'm not happy with my actual friends. I feel very grateful ^-^ but I just need to write 4 000 words here, please, undersand me xD (who the heck am I talking to?)
Aw.. the pineapple cake is already served! Sorry guys, but I'm leaving.
AW.. This is the first time I have the same visitors from Spain and the United States. Thanks for reading me ^^ (and sorry for my grammatical errors, it's embarrassing)
Today I'd like to thank Mr. D for sending me an sms after reading my update about how was the manga event. That person told me that there were people in the world who think about me, and remember of my existence. I think you're the only one person who read always my updates so I think you deserve this mention. Today I wonder if what he said was really truth...
Let me give you an explanation. Yesterday night I had a strange dream. It's been years since I can't remember clearly my dreams but lately I do remember some of them. (lately is 1 month more or less).
The main topic of the dream I had was loneliness. In my dream, everything was dark and there were two Fatimas. One of them looked like the Fatima of some years ago, and the other one looked like the actual me. It was just as if one was telling to the other "open your eyes, you've been always alone, can't you see it?". All people I know were walking around me, but it was as if no one could see me there. Everyone keeped on living happily and no one realised that I wasn't there anymore.
Obviously it was just a dream, probabily produced because of some hard experiences in the past, but I started thinking about it.
I think real life is pretty similar to my dream. Who really cares? I think no one. I tried to open my heart to strange people who comes to me smiling. Tried my best to get on well with everyone, tried my best to be loved by others and I'm actually still thinking about how could I waste my time that way. Is someone like me really made to be loved?
I've been just like running away from that truth. If I die, will someone really care?
However I tried to be positive. Whenever I have strengh enough to get closer to someone, that person at the end always goes far away from me. At last we get sepparate ways. It's impossible not getting a distance from me as the time passes..
Even those who I actually call friends and are still supposed to be "close" to me.. are they really my friends? What is friendship? Why do they never call me to go out? If It's not me who purposes a place to go, no one will invite me. Am I such a boring person? Is it because of my long silence? Maybe there's something wrong with me. Is it my personallity? I've been always told that I'm "different" from other people, but am I such a weird person? do I have such an odd behaviour?
Is it my appearence? Even If I try my best to make new friends the same thing happens. Getting online and most of the times no one talks to me. Even if I try to have a conversation, most of the times, it doesn't success.
Maybe the best solution is dressing up a mask once again and not letting anyone to get into my world. I can't understand many things right now. Maybe I'm just perturbed because of the dream I had last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll read this same update and I'll regret for publishing it and showing a hidden part of me.
Probabily I was made to be alone. Who cares?
Someday I'll finish this degree, prepare my luggage and fly so far away. I'll try a new life from 0 right then. But Will I be able to quit off the mask.. ?
Well... this entrance is dedicated to someone who probabily won't read it.
This morning, when I just came back from the college I found an envelop on my bedroom's desk. Someone from Barcelona has sent me a very nice letter and a DVD. It's been already 2 years since the first day we met. I can still remember all the details and I'm very glad of having such a friend. Someone who is really able to listen to you when you need it. A friend who is truly always there. A very intelligent guy and absolutely a great artist.
His dream is becoming an actor and he has dedicated me his 'first' job and sent it to me by mail way! I've just watched it and enjoyed a lot. Thanks a lot Mr. C This kind of present are the best I can recieve.
Seeing how people around me are doing their best encourages me to do so. It will be a second meeting.
This weekend, as some of you already know, I went to the Valencia's manga event.
If you want me to tell you the truth, all this weekend has been somehow... jinxed. In fact, I was asolutely down on my luck.
Out Fashioned've been preparing a choreography for the event, but because of some incidents we couldn't perform this time. D': why me?? Finally I did a solo on the stage, but the choreography was too simple.. (by the way, I was happy because lots of people congratulated me for my exhibition. aw! And I was happy because a group of boys who saw my performance asked me my tuenti adress haha! ) xD I'm absolutely sure about we would have won the dancing contest if we had performed this weekend... :(
Anyway, let me start from the begining and tell you what happened step by step. First of all, I didn't know how to get to the place where the event was celebrated. I had no idea about how to arrive to "Fira València" because I don't know Valencia city. But that was not a problem because I was supposed to take the train from Castellon with a friend who knew how to get there. Can you gess what happened? In fact, that friend of me didn't appear. I waited for her till the last minute before the train's departure D: But she didn't come.
"Don't worry Fátima, be happy. Sheila, your other friend, will call you from Valencia before arriving and she'll indicate you the way to get there" - That's what I thought.
I tried to call her but the mobile phone was switched off =D yaay! I felt alone and absolutely insignificant for my friends.
Once I got to Valencia, I managed somehow to get to Fira València (it was really easy to get there ^^).I thought my friends would be waiting for me there, but: THERE WAS ANYONE. I felt more than insignificant for them, I felt just like.. invisible. Does someone on the Earth remember that I exist? I called them and they told me they were just coming.
Btw, I found some people that I know there, and made some new friends while my friends were coming. I started to had fun, and found lots of cute stuff that were being sold on the stands *o* There were lots of k-pop merchandising!: T-shirts of Big Bang music band, SS 501's posters, mobile cases, and very cute headphones... (why the hell am I that poor??).
Things were getting better but suddenly a weird guy started talking to me. He started to get somehow closer to me.. ;_; I don't remember how many kisses he gave me (on my cheeks ;D).. it didn't took him more than 30 minutes to ask me my tuenti adress(I felt just like: someone help me please!!).
Some minutes later my friends appeared. We started strolling over there. I was happy because many people regonised me from other events ^-^ and many other asked my adress =D Me! The one who always takes distance from other people was making could finally make new friends!
The karaoke and the dance contest took place. I enjoyed watching both, there were very good perfomances.
One of the things that really impressed me on the event were the winners from France of the World Cosplay Summit. Oh my God! They looked like very beautiful dolls. I wish I could look like them. Both were really beautiful and their costumes were seriously awsome!
.. xD hahaha I've just remembered of something funny that happened there, but I can't make it public.
Next time we'll do a freakin' awsome dance performance! Please, come to see me dancing ^-^/
Well , hope you liked the summary of my day in Valencia ^-^ I'll thank you if you leave here your comments and opinions.
I look very bad in all the pictures, but hope you enjoy them xDDD
My life has been kinda stressful those two last weeks: I had a lot of homework to do, lots of readings to read, lots of class notes to review at home and.. you know, this kind of stuff that all students should do. What I want to tell you guys is that because of that lifestyle I had no inspiration to write over here. sorry!
Well.. anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about today ><.. Last week I got new sneakers for my dancing sessions! That made think about my life as a dancer (I wonder If I can call myself that way...). One of the two performances I was preparing for this weekend has been cancelled, and I really loved the choregraphies. Specially the easiest one: It had very sexy and femenine moves and that suposed a big challenge to me. A big challenge that I could overcome but I won't be able to share it with anyone yet, even with my dancing partners of TDK :( I wonder when we'll perform... ><
Today I'm uploading over here my top 8 of the korean choreographies I'd like to dance someday in my life. Hope you enjoy them the same way than I. (I'm just uploading 8 videos because I haven't got time to seek for more, in number 9 and number 10's place, there would probabily be two Shinee dances xD.. )
Coming in place number 8, here we have a very simple and famous one: Brown eyed girls' Abracadabra xD
Number 7: (I adore Minzy xD): 2ne1's fire (If you want me to tell you the truth Out Fashioned is planning to dance it ;D)
this is the choreography that occupyies the 6th place. It is a bit old, but it's been a long time since I wanna learn it by heart. Hope you like it. F(x)'s Chu.
The 5th is not Korean but it's a japanese song performed by Yamashita Tomoshisa called Mola . Enjoy:
The 4th one is Breathe from b2ast. It's a simple choreography but I like it don't know why xD Maybe because I have the feeling that I can express myself with that moves.
Coming in the 3rd place I'd like to learn Lucifer (I've just memorized the half of the choreography because I hadn't had time enough xD). I like Tae Min very much (the main charachter in the choreography).
In the 2nd place we have Shinee's Replay! I'd like to be Tae Min (yellow shirt) or Jonghyun (Red jeans)<3
And finally... here we have 2NE1's Clap your Hands! *_* I'd like to dance occupying's Minzy parts in the choreography(the black long haired girl) [sorry for the bad sound's quality. I found it the best cover of this song I've ever seen]
And finally.... My new sneakers <3
Weell, hope this sunday performance to have success!! Wish us good luck!
Because you won't be there anymore. Because we will never hold our hands anymore. Because you'll never kiss me again and you'll never smile when you'll see my face.
Because all those future plans and dreams are over. They'll never become true.
Because we won't exchange our clothes anymore, and we won't sleep toghether.
Because we won't see each other for a while, because of all the good stuff we shared toghether.
Because you'll never see that pijama on me. Because you won't be able to take me the pictures you wanted to.
Because of the Valentine's cake, because I won't be able to hear your voice anymore. Because everything finished today. All those reasons made me cry tonight.
I'll regret, I'll miss you, but that's the best for us my little first love.
This is going to be a short update. Well... as all of you know, tonight is a special night. Some people celebrate the famous Halloween night.
It's the first time I celebrate it and.. well, it was funny. I felt just as If I was in the middle of a very warm environment. Everyone was smiling and having fun.
Furthermore.. It's the first time I show my absolutely sincere personality to my friends and.. I'm still shocked, because everyone hugged me and gave me kisses -don't ask me the reason because even I can't understand it, and I can tell you that no one was drunk- The world is crazy. Maybe as crazy as my mind is. I mean, everyone liked me just as I am, .. xD I can't give you too much details because it's a bit embarrassing and I don't want my English teacher to have a weird image of me. I just can tell you that tonight I became a very bad girl . Ar.. well, nevermind.
I wish I could be that self confident whenever I wanted to.
I'll upload some pictures of my costume over here as soon as I can. However let me tell you that you'll shake of fear guys. I looked truly firghtening. Even I got scared when I saw myself in the mirror.
Aand.. I don't know what else I can write here.. it's really late o(><)o mmmh... oh! Yesterday I meet a new friend.. It was really funny and nice. I enjoyed the afternoon but there was something weird. I can't explain it.. I don't know how to. D= well anyways, nevermind . I'm just too sleepy to think about how to express my thoughts.
It's a bit late and I just wanted to wish you a very happy and frightening halloween! have nice nightmares~~!
Today I haven't too much things to say. This weekend has been awsome but a bit cold. Winter is coming. I'm a little bit sleepy so today's update is going to be short. I would like to tell you lots of things about saturday's day, but I'm keeping it as a secret till the 20th november ^-^
Well.. however, I think I'm falling in love with Tae Yang's songs. I can't stop from listening to his voice and watching his cool dancing movements. This dance is really simple, but pretty expressive and cute. I think I just like it and I would like to share it with you tonight guys. Here you have Taeyang's "I Need Girl" music video featuring G-Dragon and Sandara Park of 2NE1 (even if most of you have already watched it):
Too much romanticism to be me, right? no way... I think I need a bit of rock music in my daily life. Can't spend all my life listening just k-pop as I've lately been doing. It's been long since I don't listen to that kind of music. I think I'm missing too much things!
I'll keep on writting here, so please keep on reading me. Tomorrow I'll write more stuff over here~~ !
Good night to everyone P.S. I wonder how kimchi fried rice's flavor is...
First of all, let me apologize for aaaaaall my orthographic and my veeery veery big grammatical faults. Please try to understand me, I'm still studying English, I'm Spanish and my level isn't high enough to be writting stuff on this blog D: (futhermore I'm too lazy to use a dictionary while I'm writting XD)
Anyway.. let's start this update! Today I'd like to talk about self-confidence.
"Interviewer: What makes you feel the sexiest?
*laughs*
- I think when you are confident by yourself... -Yeah! you can be sexy anywhere, no matter what are you wearing. -Yes -If you believe in what you are wearing and in who you are, then you know, you get that sexy build going on. -Yes, self confidence is very sexy.*laughs* "
I've heard those words in an interview on youtube.com . The interviewed people were four young artists from the EEUU called Jazmin Sisters.
I've always been afraid of showing too much self-confidence, but it looks that many artist from many different entretainment companies use that image to commercialize. And some of those companies are really really really succesfull all over the world. Does self confidence really make you look more attractive to other people? Think about the answer while you're watching this video:
I want to give you an example of the self confidence I'm trying to talk about. It's the lastest single of 2ne1 which is called "Clap your hands" (they're actually one of my favourite corean music/dancers band ^^):
Their confidence makes them look really cool, doesn't it? then.. how about the question? Have you got a clear answer? Here I have it: Self-confidence is a key to succes in our daily lifes.
People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. Futhermore let me tell you that self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.
If you believe in yourself, things get easier and you can easily get what you want. If you truly think "If I try my best, I'm definetly going to get my objective" the probabilities to get your objective increase.
However, let's stop and think about what self- confidence is in first place. Which definition would you give to that expression? I've been seeking on the net and found this one, which I really liked "What is Self-Confidence?
"Self-confidence is essentially an attitude which allows us to have a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities. It is characterised by personal attributes such as assertiveness, optimism, enthusiasm, affection, pride, independence, trust, the ability to handle criticism and emotional maturity.
Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem." When we talk about self efficacy, we're talking about getting our objectives successfully. In fact, I'm refering to realistic objectives. I think that setting realstic objectives and getting them can increase our self-confidence. Even if some of those objectives are not met, those with confidence continue being positive, they keep on believing in themselves and accepting their current limitations with renewed energy. However, having high self-confidence does not mean they will be able to do everything they want! Remember that human aren't perfect machines, but confident people keep on being positive and that attitude makes gets their goals closer to be successful.
And obviously, loving ourselves is the most important point to get that self-confidence.
Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based upon how you perceive your value as a person based on your experience.
Unfortunately, your self-confidence isn't something you can get in 5 minutes. It's a slow process... but it's not something impossible to get. If you're patient you can become a really bright person.
I'll include you a very interesting link to a website where it's shortly explained how to get self confidence. I've read it all and found it really interesting. Just have a look when you'll have some free time: http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence. This website is better than the one I've just sent you, but it takes longer to read: http://www.take-your-power.com/
Be careful and do not confuse being condifent with "feeling that I'm the best". It's not the same. And also take care of not falling in perfeccionism world, it won't let you advance on your objectives, and it's really hard to leave that planet, trust me.
In short, self confience is necessary and indispensable and 2ne1 are really cool. =D thanks a lot for reading me! (If someone really did)
Homework, homework and more homework to do since I've started studying in that college. I've always thought that being all long day busy is great, but sometimes students need a BREAK.
And that's what I did this weekend, I looked forward to breathe and stayed out with my friends. I went to a birthday party and I enjoyed it as long as I could. We took some pictures as you can see. ^^
My friends and me (pink dress ) (why do I always look that bad when someone takes me a picture?! T_T )
Guillem & me :3
Everybody smiles in the party~~
Do you want to know what was the most I liked of those pictures? The monkey who is saying hello there <3. It was super duper cute.. I wonder how my birthday will be this year. I mean, I've lost contact with lots of friends, and maybe this year... maybe it's gonna be sad. Who knows. I wish I could celebrate it in another country *o* woaah! It would be awsome!
I promised you I wouldn't make you feel bored and I think I'm doing so, I'm a very bad person =D
There was something else I wanted to say... I'm planning to change my horrible look but I still can't decide my new hairstyle.. Any advices? = D
oh hell, it's actually 01:00 , and tomorrow I have to wake up early in the morning. Sorry guys, but today It's enough!
Talk to you soon.
Have nice dreaaaams~~ !!
P.S. sorry for my today's stupid update, I'll try to make next one better = D nd also sorry for my very ridiculous faults!
As some of you know my name is Fatima and I'm a nineteen years old girl. Hope you like my site and enjoy it the same way I'll do when I'll write stuff on it.
Most of you must be wondering what the objective of this blog is. I found the idea of creating a English blog really interesting and wanted to take an advantage of it. This time, the thematic of the blog is going to be a mix between a self-improvement project and a diary.
Hope you keep on reading me from today!
I won't be bored nor won't make you sleep either. I promise!
(sorry for not having time to explain the reason why I named the blog tsukichou! I will soon ><)
Estudiante de traducción e interpretación.
Probablemente la persona más torpe que puedas conocer y que más horas duerme cuando tiene la ocasión haciéndole así la competencia a Penélope Cruz.
Alias: pequeña marmota.
Estudiante de traducción e interpretación.
Probablemente la persona más torpe que puedas conocer y que más horas duerme cuando tiene la ocasión haciéndole así la competencia a Penélope Cruz.
Alias: pequeña marmota.
