Should I use the mask once again... ?


AW.. This is the first time I have the same visitors from Spain and the United States.
Thanks for reading me ^^ (and sorry for my grammatical errors, it's embarrassing)

Today I'd like to thank Mr. D for sending me an sms after reading my update about how was the manga event. That person told me that there were people in the world who think about me, and remember of my existence. I think you're the only one person who read always my updates so I think you deserve this mention. Today I wonder if what he said was really truth...

Let me give you an explanation. Yesterday night I had a strange dream. It's been years since I can't remember clearly my dreams but lately I do remember some of them. (lately is 1 month more or less).

The main topic of the dream I had was loneliness. In my dream, everything was dark and there were two Fatimas. One of them looked like the Fatima of some years ago, and the other one looked like the actual me. It was just as if one was telling to the other "open your eyes, you've been always alone, can't you see it?". All people I know were walking around me, but it was as if no one could see me there. Everyone keeped on living happily and no one realised that I wasn't there anymore.

Obviously it was just a dream, probabily produced because of some hard experiences in the past, but I started thinking about it.

I think real life is pretty similar to my dream. Who really cares? I think no one. I tried to open my heart to strange people who comes to me smiling. Tried my best to get on well with everyone, tried my best to be loved by others and I'm actually still thinking about how could I waste my time that way.
Is someone like me really made to be loved?

I've been just like running away from that truth. If I die, will someone really care?

However I tried to be positive. Whenever I have strengh enough to get closer to someone, that person at the end always goes far away from me. At last we get sepparate ways. It's impossible not getting a distance from me as the time passes..

Even those who I actually call friends and are still supposed to be "close" to me.. are they really my friends? What is friendship? Why do they never call me to go out? If It's not me who purposes a place to go, no one will invite me. Am I such a boring person? Is it because of my long silence?
Maybe there's something wrong with me. Is it my personallity? I've been always told that I'm "different" from other people, but am I such a weird person? do I have such an odd behaviour?

Is it my appearence? Even If I try my best to make new friends the same thing happens.
Getting online and most of the times no one talks to me. Even if I try to have a conversation, most of the times, it doesn't success.

Maybe the best solution is dressing up a mask once again and not letting anyone to get into my world.
I can't understand many things right now. Maybe I'm just perturbed because of the dream I had last night.



Maybe tomorrow I'll read this same update and I'll regret for publishing it and showing a hidden part of me.

Probabily I was made to be alone.
Who cares?


Someday I'll finish this degree, prepare my luggage and fly so far away. I'll try a new life from 0 right then. But Will I be able to quit off the mask.. ?

Far but close friends


Well... this entrance is dedicated to someone who probabily won't read it.

This morning, when I just came back from the college I found an envelop on my bedroom's desk. Someone from Barcelona has sent me a very nice letter and a DVD.
It's been already 2 years since the first day we met. I can still remember all the details and I'm very glad of having such a friend. Someone who is really able to listen to you when you need it. A friend who is truly always there. A very intelligent guy and absolutely a great artist.

His dream is becoming an actor and he has dedicated me his 'first' job and sent it to me by mail way! I've just watched it and enjoyed a lot. Thanks a lot Mr. C
This kind of present are the best I can recieve.

Seeing how people around me are doing their best encourages me to do so.
It will be a second meeting.

Thanks for the present.



Range in the world!

Valencia manga event


This weekend, as some of you already know, I went to the Valencia's manga event.

If you want me to tell you the truth, all this weekend has been somehow... jinxed. In fact, I was asolutely down on my luck.

Out Fashioned've been preparing a choreography for the event, but because of some incidents we couldn't perform this time. D': why me?? Finally I did a solo on the stage, but the choreography was too simple.. (by the way, I was happy because lots of people congratulated me for my exhibition. aw! And I was happy because a group of boys who saw my performance asked me my tuenti adress haha! ) xD I'm absolutely sure about we would have won the dancing contest if we had performed this weekend... :(

Anyway, let me start from the begining and tell you what happened step by step. First of all, I didn't know how to get to the place where the event was celebrated. I had no idea about how to arrive to "Fira València" because I don't know Valencia city. But that was not a problem because I was supposed to take the train from Castellon with a friend who knew how to get there. Can you gess what happened? In fact, that friend of me didn't appear. I waited for her till the last minute before the train's departure D: But she didn't come.

"Don't worry Fátima, be happy. Sheila, your other friend, will call you from Valencia before arriving and she'll indicate you the way to get there" - That's what I thought.

I tried to call her but the mobile phone was switched off =D yaay! I felt alone and absolutely insignificant for my friends.

Once I got to Valencia, I managed somehow to get to Fira València (it was really easy to get there ^^).I thought my friends would be waiting for me there, but: THERE WAS ANYONE. I felt more than insignificant for them, I felt just like.. invisible. Does someone on the Earth remember that I exist? I called them and they told me they were just coming.

Btw, I found some people that I know there, and made some new friends while my friends were coming.
I started to had fun, and found lots of cute stuff that were being sold on the stands *o* There were lots of k-pop merchandising!: T-shirts of Big Bang music band, SS 501's posters, mobile cases, and very cute headphones... (why the hell am I that poor??).

Things were getting better but suddenly a weird guy started talking to me. He started to get somehow closer to me.. ;_; I don't remember how many kisses he gave me (on my cheeks ;D).. it didn't took him more than 30 minutes to ask me my tuenti adress(I felt just like: someone help me please!!).

Some minutes later my friends appeared. We started strolling over there. I was happy because many people regonised me from other events ^-^ and many other asked my adress =D Me! The one who always takes distance from other people was making could finally make new friends!

The karaoke and the dance contest took place. I enjoyed watching both, there were very good perfomances.

One of the things that really impressed me on the event were the winners from France of the World Cosplay Summit. Oh my God! They looked like very beautiful dolls. I wish I could look like them. Both were really beautiful and their costumes were seriously awsome!

.. xD hahaha I've just remembered of something funny that happened there, but I can't make it public.

Next time we'll do a freakin' awsome dance performance! Please, come to see me dancing ^-^/

Well , hope you liked the summary of my day in Valencia ^-^ I'll thank you if you leave here your comments and opinions.

I look very bad in all the pictures, but hope you enjoy them xDDD


Talk to you soon!
Take care everyone





Nothing to talk about.......


Hi everybody! what's up?

My life has been kinda stressful those two last weeks: I had a lot of homework to do, lots of readings to read, lots of class notes to review at home and.. you know, this kind of stuff that all students should do. What I want to tell you guys is that because of that lifestyle I had no inspiration to write over here. sorry!

Well.. anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about today ><..
Last week I got new sneakers for my dancing sessions!
That made think about my life as a dancer (I wonder If I can call myself that way...). One of the two performances I was preparing for this weekend has been cancelled, and I really loved the choregraphies. Specially the easiest one: It had very sexy and femenine moves and that suposed a big challenge to me. A big challenge that I could overcome but I won't be able to share it with anyone yet, even with my dancing partners of TDK :( I wonder when we'll perform... ><

Today I'm uploading over here my top 8 of the korean choreographies I'd like to dance someday in my life. Hope you enjoy them the same way than I. (I'm just uploading 8 videos because I haven't got time to seek for more, in number 9 and number 10's place, there would probabily be two Shinee dances xD.. )

Coming in place number 8, here we have a very simple and famous one: Brown eyed girls' Abracadabra xD


Number 7: (I adore Minzy xD): 2ne1's fire (If you want me to tell you the truth Out Fashioned is planning to dance it ;D)



this is the choreography that occupyies the 6th place. It is a bit old, but it's been a long time since I wanna learn it by heart. Hope you like it. F(x)'s Chu.


The 5th is not Korean but it's a japanese song performed by Yamashita Tomoshisa called Mola . Enjoy:


The 4th one is Breathe from b2ast. It's a simple choreography but I like it don't know why xD Maybe because I have the feeling that I can express myself with that moves.


Coming in the 3rd place I'd like to learn Lucifer (I've just memorized the half of the choreography because I hadn't had time enough xD). I like Tae Min very much (the main charachter in the choreography).



In the 2nd place we have Shinee's Replay! I'd like to be Tae Min (yellow shirt) or Jonghyun (Red jeans)<3


And finally... here we have 2NE1's Clap your Hands! *_* I'd like to dance occupying's Minzy parts in the choreography(the black long haired girl) [sorry for the bad sound's quality. I found it the best cover of this song I've ever seen]


And finally....

My new sneakers <3

Weell, hope this sunday performance to have success!! Wish us good luck!

Keep in touch!

mou, kimi ga inai kara


Because you won't be there anymore. Because we will never hold our hands anymore.
Because you'll never kiss me again and you'll never smile when you'll see my face.

Because all those future plans and dreams are over. They'll never become true.

Because we won't exchange our clothes anymore, and we won't sleep toghether.

Because we won't see each other for a while, because of all the good stuff we shared toghether.

Because you'll never see that pijama on me. Because you won't be able to take me the pictures you wanted to.

Because of the Valentine's cake, because I won't be able to hear your voice anymore.
Because everything finished today. All those reasons made me cry tonight.

I'll regret, I'll miss you, but that's the best for us my little first love.



Good Bye

Halloween pictures




Quien soy yo

Mi foto
Estudiante de traducción e interpretación. Probablemente la persona más torpe que puedas conocer y que más horas duerme cuando tiene la ocasión haciéndole así la competencia a Penélope Cruz. Alias: pequeña marmota.
 

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